a funny post?

Some friend of mine asked me a few days ago.. "Hey how come you never updated your blog again?"
and I told him, "I don't have that much funny stories to share." And seeing how sad my life as I wrote them down in here, I realize, how sad my life is.
It really is.
Especially in love...

To start with, I were never a popular kid, nor a beauty kid. I was always the "casual",or at the best moment, "cute" one. I was short, but with a kinda old face, my eyes has dark circle because of the gene, and I was very childish. Shortly, I was nothing special.

Things got worse. I fell in love with a wrong person, makes a few bad decision, and boom! I left broken hearted, and friendless, and moreover, alone.
I guess, yes, I'm a lonely person. I tried, believe me, by God, I've tried.. I made friends from here to there, I deepens my relationship with my God, I try to help my parents, I become a good child, but all of that doesn't matter. I'm still alone. I still feel alone. I really wish I know why.

That things, the lonely-thingie, makes me an OAG, over-attached girlfriend, and as much as I know that is a BAD.thing., I can't, I CAN'T stop it. my heart hurts so much every time my boyfriend, or the one I likes, gives me the "want-to-leave" behavior. Things get SO MUCH worse when my last ex, changed his behavior from nurturing and caring to cold and ignoring in only one day. I really don't know what I do wrong, maybe it's my over-possessiveness, or maybe it's because any other fault I made, or my bad character, or maybe what, I don't know, and until this day, I still doesn't know. That makes me so afraid to start a new relationship. My heart hurts everytime I get too near to boy.

And now, I think I fall again.
As much as I want to ignore it... I fall. again. I curse myself for that mistake. how stupid I can be, seriously. Can't a girl have a good year without love??! apparently not for me. sh*t.

And even worse, the boy doesn't like me, but he's nice to me.
I know people gonna say.. "It's better if you neglect him, don't nurture your feeling blablabla.."
I'm WEAK. I know it. I don't want this feeling!!!!! Why must I feel it?!

I wish I can erase my feelings... I really don't mind I think, to be a sadist, rather than like this.. weak, and trampled.. Seriously God, what is Your majestic reason behind this? T__T
for "A".... I hope you're happy.. not because anything, but because I like you..

Birthday present for the unmentionable friend

It's been a long enough time now, my friend

For me to know you

and for you to know me

We've far behind acquaintances now

and we had faced many obstacles between us

Anger, rage, misunderstanding, and many more

And how we share our laughter

We've had the time of our lives

From the point where we just met

to the point that you had your crush on me

until the point that you moved on

the point where I realized I like you.

How silly it must have been

to know your one true happiness is in front of you

Just being with them can makes you happy

and not being able to talk to them makes you sad

That, even at your angriest state

at my angriest state

we can't, we just can't, lose contact.

Even when you got your crush,

your (now exes)soon-to-be-girlfriends

when I got my crush

my (now exes)boyfriend

we still had our times, together.

You know my weakness

I know your flaw

You know how to handle me, and vice versa

But friend, do I know you

I've seen you fall in love, so many times

I've seen you desperate for love

and yet, you ignores me. ==a

But that's fine, pal

As long as the winds blows for us

I'll still be there for us

As long as I can stand it

But friend, if one day

I see you walk the aisle

and the girl wasn't me

Please give me my regard, for I will not be there.

I will not have the strength like you will have

if you were to be in my feet.

Just remember our times pal

as that's what remains of us

As for now, just let me dream

about a place where you and I can be together

forever

we'll be friend, eternally, together.

Happy birthday pal, hope you had what you always dreamed for this year.

Just some thought about family

Pernah ga, berpikir tentang orang tua kita? Terutama mereka yang orangtuanya masih lengkap (mama ada, papa ada)....
...
Coba diinget, apa sih yang biasanya kita lakuin untuk mereka?
..
Yep. Rata-rata ga ada yang ngelakuin apa-apa, kecuali kalo bikin bete, kasih masalah, sama jadwal apel (ke ruang guru) itu diitung "pemberian"

Ga usah jauh-jauh.. Paw pernah tau ada cerita seorang anak habis nraktir papanya, anak ini waktu tengkar sama adiknya dia bilang, "Ga usah macem-macem lah minta papi uang!! Kamu ga tahu apa, yang bayarin papamu makan tadi aku??!!" ---> itu papa elu bukann... *emosi*
Rasanya jadi ga habis pikir... Padahal papanya juga ga ngajarin jelek lho.. tapi kok bisa anaknya kaya gitu..

Mungkin kalian habis baca ini ketawa, ngetawain anak ini.. tapi coba ngaca.. di 1 sisi, apa ga kita seperti itu? Kalo dikasih orang tua, bawaannya "wajar lah gw dikasih.. gw anaknya.." Tapi ketika waktunya untuk balas jasa.. apa sih yang kita kasih?
SD/SMP/SMA/Kuliah : "gw belum kerja, belum punya duit sendiri.."
Kerja : "gw nabung buat hari depan nih.. cicilan mobil/rumah/anything.."
Nikah awal-awal : "cicilan rumah belum kebayar, masih masa penganten baru, masa udah direpotin ortu??"
Nikah agak lama : "Udah ada anak, mahal perawatannnn.. ortu kan harusnya ada tabungan hari depann.."
Udah tua : "Ortu udah ga ada..." atau kalo masih ada "gw aja uang ngarep anak, kok ngasih ortu.."

Ketawa kalo mau, tapi rata-rata orang akan melakukan hal seperti itu. Dan itu juga menunjukkan sesuatu... Kalo mau / ga mau, sebenernya SEMUA kesempatan itu bisa, dan juga... PERLU!!

Pada udah tau kan, mama Paw meninggal tahun 2007. Saat itu Paw masi SMA, masi imut-imut...kalo pembelaan Paw, paling gampang ya itu.. "Paw belum kerja, belum bisa bahagiain mami"
Tapi apa bener begitu?? Sebenernya ya ngga.
Kalau Paw emang mau, Paw seharusnya BISA.
BISA mendengarkan mama waktu mama butuh didengarkan
BISA membantu mama meringankan sakit dengan rajin menyiapkan obat (sering lupa)
BISA mendoakan mama setiap saat (sering lupa)
BISA membantu meringankan pikiran dengan menjadi anak baik
BISA menyenangkan mama dengan nurut
BISA dekat-dekat dengan mama apalagi mengetahui waktu itu mama sakit keras.

Kalau ditanya... Paw dulu sering jalan-jalan waktu mama sakit. Dan kalau diingat.. sekarang kenangan jalan-jalan itu sudah hilang, yang tersisa cuma penyesalan.. "Seandainya dulu bisa menghabiskan waktu lebih sama mama..."

TIDAK AKAN PERNAH ADA cinta seperti cinta ibu. Pada siapa coba kita bisa bener-bener memeluk seseorang dan tidak merasa aneh / mesum / harus jaga jarak? Paw perempuan, dipeluk papa memang biasa, tapi tidak akan pernah bisa sama dengan pelukan mama.. Mau perempuan, mau laki-laki, seorang ibu tidak akan pernah membedakan dalam hal pemberian pelukan. Afterall, bukankah dia yang mengandung kita selama 9bulan di dalam perutnya?

Di saat sedih, depresi, takut, bermasalah, berbeban... Terkadang obat yang kita butuhkan bukanlah minuman, pasangan, ataupun obat yang lain. Terkadang pelukan dan doa ibu sudah cukup. Hanya saja, banyak yang tidak pernah menyadari hal ini. Dan mungkin.. Paw juga tidak akan pernah menyadari ini jika Paw tidak kehilangan mama Paw...

Kisah Paw berakhir sedih, di saat-saat seperti ini, ketika Paw merindukan kasih seorang ibunda, tidak ada satupun orang, sedekat apapun dia, walaupun dia juga seorang ibu, yang bisa menggantikan mama Paw. Pelukan, nasihat, dan doa yang terucap pasti beda, karena tidak ada yang bisa lebih mengerti seorang anak daripada ibunya sendiri kecuali Tuhan, dan doa yang paling tulus adalah doa orangtua.

Tapi Paw ingin, pengalaman Paw bisa menjadi suatu pelajaran bagi kalian.. yang membaca blog ini.. Hargailah orang tua kalian selagi masih sempat, selagi masih bisa.. Tidak ada yang tahu apa yang dibawa oleh esok.. Kesempatan yang bisa diraih, raihlah dahulu. Dahulukan orangtua mu, bukan pacar atau sahabatmu. Karena orang datang dan pergi, berubah dan silih berganti, tetapi pada akhirnya yang akan melindungimu tetap adalah orangtua..

sekian.

Perjalanan hidup sang kupu-kupu

Seekor ulat tak pernah mendamba..
Untuk menjadi kupu-kupu..
Ia tahu, untuk menjadi kupu-kupu berarti untuk tiada..
Seekor kupu, hanya cantik untuk sehari, lalu tiada..

Namun waktu memberitahu dirinya, saatnya untuk menjadi kepompong..
Ulat pun merasakan perubahan itu..
Siap tidak siap, perubahan terasa nyata
Tidak ada hal yang bisa dilakukan selain mempersiapkan diri..

Tiba saatnya ia menjadi kupu
"Tidak! disini sungguh nyaman!" teriak sang ulat
apalah daya, tubuhnya telah terbentuk
Saatnya untuk melebarkan sayapnya

Kini dia telah menjadi kupu
Dan dia melihat
segala perjuangannya selama ini, dan dirinya saat ini
Dan ia pun tersenyum..

Tidak ada dari kita yang tahu waktuNya
Tidak ada dari kita yang bisa merasa siap
Namun percaya kepada satu hal
Tuhan tidak pernah salah memilih waktu..

Quatro...

I love you
till my head spinning
just hearing of your name

I love you so much
till my head wants to burst
just because your kiss

I love you too much
till I dreamt of you
sleeping next to me

But

You said, it was too much
you said, it is no time to do that
you said, we had to know the time

When to get serious
When to get romantic
and then to get funny

but tell me now
if it not now
how is it I know

That my heart will ever feels this way again?
That this moment will lasts forever?
That this love is true?

The more you know me
The further apart you became
how can I not be afraid?

Tell me
Does this some kind of sick joke
that you deceive me?
Truly it is, yes...

Depressed me

Why
Am I so stupid?
Am I that bad?
Am I that useless?

Why
Does I always do the wrong act?
Does I always pick the wrong choice?
Does I never, ever, be wise?

Why
Did I keep makes people angry of me?
Did I keep makes people I love got fed up on me?
Did I always do the useless things?

Why
Can't I be like any other person?
Can't I work like a professional?
Can't I be more mature?

Why
Can't I stop feeling depressed?
Can't I stop making mistakes?
Can't I found what I'm good at?

Why
All I do is just wrong?
All I said is just wrong?
All I think is just wrong?

Why
Did I always failed?
Did I never get any luck?
Did I always disappoint those who near me?

Why...

I can't think about something positive
I can't stop thinking about hurting myself
I can't remember the last time I didn't fail..

God makes everyone unique and have their own way
but sometimes I do think..
'Did I born as a failure, so that there's people who will look at me and feels better, saying to themselves, "At least I'm not like her"'??

Ayat-ayat yang kusuka

Baack... hihihihihi...
Paw udah luamaaa banget ga buka blog...
- Proverbs 10:22 --> wah ini favorit!!! huahahahhaahha...
- Sirach 39:16-17 --> ini juga...
- Matthew 7:7
- sementara itu.. nanti aku tambahin lagi yaa..~♫

Friends

I thought
Friends are forever
Those strangers, who once waving at you
will understood you completely when they opened their heart to you

But apparently
Some friends are just like a glass-diamond
Fake inside while still looks pretty outside
And, so naive, I put my trust in them.

So, when I bleed
I know part of this, is my fault.
What I don't get is
WHY?

Can't those people not backstabbing me?
Choosing the other people while laughing at me like I'm a stock
Those who I adore sincerely
Those tongue, turns out it's rotten.

The girl who looks so pure and so kind, like an angel
The little brother who are yet got to be matured
The little missy, who I took as my own new "nonik"
They had poisonous sugar in their face. Sweet, yet deadly

I should have know
From the moment they got so awkward everytime I tried to talk
From the time they goes silently
I should know, I've been abandoned

But no, naive me, I think we're still friends.
And yes, I'm still trying
But now I know, and now I learnt


TRUE FRIENDS NEVER BACKSTAB. and better yet, they will tell you as soon as they got uncomfortable with you, and not RUNAWAY LIKE A CHICKEN, but will face it like a true man. Shame on you my former ex-friend.. But I will pray for the best of you... God Bless. and may only HE who will get you what you should get. :)

I may be badmouth, but I'm a sincere and true. Now if any of you chicken stock read my blog, tell me, which of those "backstabbing" that I'm not telling the person frontally?

It's all started with concealer

Lalala... Paw hari ini ngebencong dikit...
Jadi ceritanyaaa... Paw kemarin kan beli MaxFactor Under-eye concealer sama MaxFactor eyeliner... Nahh.. namanya kemaruk.. Paw pengen coba pake dulu sebelum dibuat jalan-jalan.. beneran.. istilahnya test-drive kali ya? yah.. intinya.. Paw penasaran kann... jadi paw coba-coba deh concealernya... hmm.. kok jadinya bagus ya?? wah.. nambah lagi dikasi bedak.. kok pucat ya.. dikasi eyeshadow.. kok kurang ya.. akhirnya pake eyeliner + mascara... hmm.. kurang.. kasih apa ya.. akhirnya kasi blush on + lipstik.. wahh.. jadinya cakepp.. eittss.. tpi cakep cakep kok pake baju baby doll??? hmm.. akhirnya ganti baju... wah.. sip! tpiiiii tunggu tunggu.. Rambutnya koookk???? kaya cupu banget gituuu.. akhirnya dikluntung!! udah gitu.. Paw kan gak pernah ngluntung sendiri.. yang kiri sih oke.. yang kanan.. salah jalur!! Oh NOOOO...!! Mencuat kaya kawat!! mana pas mau benerin, ada cc berkeliaran diluar.. daripada diomeli dan dicela-cela.. mending paw nunggu di kamar.. lirik2... ah! ada botol Aqua..! akhirnya rambutnya dibasahin biar kluntungannya ilang, baru di kluntung ulang.. Ahhh.. akhirnya berhasil!! huahahaha... Jadilah Paw dari kaya gini :

jadi kaya gini : *ini waktu masih salah kluntungan, jadi tangannya 1 nutupin...*

terus jadi kaya gini : hasil akhir..

gimana gimana?? bagus ga?? komen nya duooonggg.... btewe kok ada yang bilang kaya orang Korea ya? bener ga?

Passion of the Paw

Haii.. lama ga ngeblog.. akhir-akhir ini muales banget..
Padahal banyak cerita seru bin lucu... ah.. maapkan Paw.. Paw bakal update begitu Paw rajin lagi..
Tapi untuk saat ini maap.. Paw lagi pemalas banget.. nyahahaha...
btw btw, Paw lagi bingung.. buat yang iseng buka blog paw.. or apapun deh entah gimana ...
kalo kalian kenal Paw *ciehhh* pasti tau, Paw ini hobi nya masak... tapi Paw kuliah nya Infor... >_<
jadi sekarang paw bingung.. harus gimana ya? tapi kalo dbilang hobi.. kok rasanya bener2 suka banget.. what should I do??

Oh, how I love to bully...

Iiiyaaappp... how I love to bully people..!! hohohoho... ini ceritanya, hari ini Paw diajak pergi ke TP buat cari hadiah ultah seorang temennya Paw.. dan karena ada temennya paw si Devillady yang juga kelaparan, maka Paw ajak juga dia.. ufufufufu.. baik hati banget ya paw.. Kan rencananya pergi janjian jam 11.. titi baru bangun 11.15... huyuh.. gimana toh... *dan ternyata, Dean baru dateng jam 1.. bener-bener deh.. ada apa dengan anak-anak ini dan punctuality mereka.. ckckckck.. ga kaya paw.. kalo telat selalu lebih dari ga sampe 15 menit... nah lanjut.. akhir nya karena Dean lama... Kita makan dulu deh... *Paw sebenernya bokek.. berat... tapi daripada makan di rumah, udah ga ada bahan makanan yang bisa digabungin jadi decent food, mesti cuci-cuci lagi, beres-beres lagi.. dah makan di luar deh akhirnya.. habis nya ternyata muahall... yah, selesai makan n Dean dateng.. mau nya pergi jalan-jalan, cari kado... tapi kok ngantuk yah... ckckck.. akhirnya sama Dean diajak pergi ke J.Co... okee.. sampe di J.Co kita duduk duluan di sofa.. Paw ngantuuuuQ!!! dan Paw pikir anak-anak mau beli something-something... yang ternyata... NGGA!! jadi.... kita semua.. duduk.. dan ga ada yang mau beli????? err.... mumpung antrian rame.. Paw cepetan pergi duluan dari situ... ckckckck.. kalo bahasa jermannya.. "ngisin-ngisini wae rek rek!!" untung ga ada yang tau...
Ucluk-ucluk ucluk... ga nemu-nemu yaa kado yang tepat.. ke Starbucks deh... mau nya Paw cari tumbler yang bagus lagi... Pas disana.. Ada yang cakep!!! pas liat harganya..... 195ribu??!! mamiii.... mana itu ukuran tall lagi... hix.. Paw suka nya kan yang Grande..!! Mahuaaallll.. tapi emang super cakepp... hix.. harus dipikirkan baik-baik ini.. mau apa ga ya.. mau apa ga ya... huhuhuhu....Ada sedikit kejadian lucu waktu di Starbucks... Paw kan beli Cinnamon Roll.. karena ga abis, voting menyatakan yang harus ngabisin tuh titi angkat Paw.. tapi titi angkat Paw ga mau... yaahhh.. ada pak satpam nya Starbucks disana.. Paw cuma iseng lho padahal.. panggil..

Paw : "Pak, bisa minta tolong?"
Satpam : "Ya, kenapa?"
P : "Tolong ini diawasi pak, kalau kue nya belum habis jangan boleh keluar ya.. nanti saya kasih tip.."
S : "Oh.. Oke" *ga disangka njawab oke..

Dan......
Titi diawasin!!! HUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Ngakak beneran Paw liat titi diawasin satpam disuruh ngabisin itu kue.... karena Paw uda janji kasi tip, Paw selipin 5000 ke titi buat kasi ke satpam kalo nanti titi udah abisin kue nya....




sekitar 5 menit kemudian, titi udah nyusul kita-kita.. *kita tinggalin titi ke atas, makanya dia diawasin satpam.. huahahaha...* waktu ketemu titi...

Paw : "Ti, kue nya uda abis?"
Titi : "Udah ce... diliatin satpamnya tadi udahan.."
Paw + temen2 : .... *ngakak*


Oh how I love to bully...

Insidious pleasee... T__T

Hweee... Paw pengen nonton film horrrooooorrrr!!!! *lebaydotcom*

gimanaaa... Paw 2 minggu di Tumpang.. jadi alim.. huahahahaha... jadi seekor, eh, seorang Paw yang bener-bener baruu... *apalagi di Camp maha ada bahan buli-bulian temen yang baik hati... jadiii ya menikmati ke suci an Tumpang + jadi alim gitu... tapiiii.....
I miss something..... I miss..... BIOSKOPPP!!!!! *halah lebay banget si emoticonnya.. wkwkwk.. ah ya, intinya ya itu.. Paw pengen nonton pilm.. bukan, bukan paw maniak bioskop.. ga juga.. tapi paw.. paw.. paw... PENGEN JALAN-JALAAAANNN!!! aku kangen Starbucks!! Kangen XXI!! Kangeeenn... guling- gulingku.. *sudah terobati kalo sama guling2ku, ehem.. yah.. udah gitu, cc Paw kerja.. papa Paw juga.. jadi Paw... sendirian gitu...ucluk ucluk tanpa tahu harus gimana... *kasian ya..* mana baka belum dateng... (tapi hari ini baka dateng.. yaaay.. bakaaa.. bawa oleh2 yaaaa... kalo ga kudeportasi kamu balik malaay..) ohohoho.. yah, back.. intinya.. Paw sepi juga laa.. di hutan belantara tanpa sinyal tanpa apa-apa.. emang, suasananya mendukung buat doa.. jangan salah.. Paw suka disana.. TAPI!!! ga seterusnya.. 1-2 minggu cukup buat menobatkan Paw.. abis gitu balik lagi doongg... nah.. untungnya... Paw nemu film judulnya "Insidious"!!! Pas awal-awal diajakin.. Paw ga tertarik.. "Film apaan sih ini??" ternyata review dari IMDB bilang film ini BAGUS!! dan tanpa darah!! Itu yang penting...!!! Paw suka horror, tapi benci darah!! ga sukaaaa... apalagi kalau kaya Saw.. super nehiiikkk!!! ga sukaaaa...!! Tapi apa daya.. anak-anak ga ada yang mau diajak nonton Insidious..

ada yang mau ajak Paw nonton itu?? T__T

Simple blogging at dusk

Oh well.. I'm not in the mood of blogging these days.. So I'm really sorry about the late updates.. I've been feeling like a screwed up.. *sorry to ruin your mood, readers* and there's nothing I can do about it.. so I've been thinking, rather than I'm bitching off here, it's better to keep it inside. I was once, let it out.. a little, a little.. and then it burst out, I became such drama queen, or should I say, drag-ma queer.. I mean, I was total mess that time, and it's like exhibitionist! I'm showing my "labil" side , shout about it so loud that people start to look at me with such pity looks. Anyway, I don't like it so I try to stop. And I don't like to start again. I'd rather keep it in.. *even sometimes I wonder.. how will I cope then? nevermind.. I'll cope anyway..*

I'm not feeling so well, mentally. So I apologize if a few of my blog-post aren't that Paw-Styled or nicely decorated like usual *I know you do love yoyo-cici and those other cute fellas as much as I do, oh how we're gonna miss 'em so badly* and I'm really, really sorry if I do sound like a heavin 'ho and bitching off my own blog, fill it with repressed, stressed stats and horrible quotations, but hey, it's me!

Well.. These days I've been trying to keep my heart closed.. but it was just too difficult. I once play The Sims3, and they have some trait named "hopelessly romantic" where the sim who had that are tend to fall in love more easily than other sim, and he/she can't help but falling in love to a person almost everytime. Well that's also what happens to me. I tried, I really tried. But alas, I've gotten bad.. And unlike in my sim, who can always get anyone whom she loves, I can't. in fact, I can't even control who I fall in with, unlike in my game, where I make her go to the guy she deserves the most. But for me, I'm not. *Tch*

Anyway, I should stop. Everything. I mean it. Final assignment are getting closer, the days are counting, but here I am, trashin' around with The Sims Medieval and 500GB of movies and TV-series... I should get back to Macromedia Flash CS4, but I just can't feel the urge to work.. Somebody have some mood-stabilizer drugs? Like those guys in Hollywood use? I might need some..

Comments, anyone? I feel so... bad.. :(

Was, will, whenever

Was, will, whenever

Is it past?

The smell of love

The sweet, sweet taste

fills and surrounds every corner

heals every wound that is

close your eyes and 

can you see?

What, what time is it?

Children are playing outside

Come now, adulthood

it's time to take those children home

Can't they see?

It's not their time again

Past the bed time, they say

It's part of us where 

the adults are consider us as one of them

Whether we're ready or not

leaving any wound, unhealed

Here, here

It's night already

won't you take a nap?

Aren't you tired?

Love is a big thing

They say, child's love is a puppy love

Does that makes us child as puppy?

no, no, they say

and there, they change the topic

Love, still unhealed

revealed after long, long time

The rest is now rotten

but the love is still there

bleed fresh blood

even as we say it

Tears are flowing

and the heart asks

"When will this stop?"

Only time will smile

and says

"Soon, my dearie.. now sleep,

as I heal you"

And so does

The childhood gone

The puppy love too

but time

heals the heart

to prepare her 

as an adult.

Allahku yang Setia

ALLAHKU YANG SETIA
Johan Chrisdianto Teja
Album The Best of Ronny Daud Simeon



SEKALIPUN KU BERJALAN
DALAM LEMBAH KELAM
NAMUN TANGAN-MU SELALU
MENOPANG HIDUPKU

SAAT KU DALAM KETAKUTAN
KAU HADIR DI SISIKU
KAU BERKATA JANGAN TAKUT
KAU B'RIKU KEMENANGAN

REFF:
KAULAH TUHAN YANG BERJANJI
TAK SEKALIPUN KAU INGKARI
KESETIAAN-MU SUNGGUH TERBUKTI
DI SEPANJANG HIDUPKU

 

'TUK SELAMANYA KU KAN SETIA
MELAYANI, MENGASIHI-MU
TIADA TUHAN SEPERTI-MU
KAULAH ALLAHKU YANG SETIA

Lagu ini....

Kalian boleh percaya atau ga.. Tapi kemarin.. Paw kena masalah .. cukup berat.. And sorry for those who asks, I can't tell you what the problem is. Yang pasti.. It scares me outta hell. Dan hasilnya keluar besok pagi nya.. Malem paw bener-bener putus asa.. Paw cuma berdoa.. "Tuhan, apapun rencanaMu, biarkan Kau beri aku kekuatan untuk menghadapinya.."

Lagu ini (yang di atas) TIDAK PERNAH ADA di playlist Paw, lagu ini juga bukan favorit Paw, bukan lagu yang sering Paw denger, apalagi Paw hapal *untuk dapet liriknya aja Paw harus mengingat-ingat*

Tapi.. Whether you believe it or not.. lagu ini TERDENGAR di mimpi Paw.

Call me crazy or whatever, I call this a faith experience... It's.. awesome.. Paginya Paw bangun dengan perasaan lebih tenang.. seolah.. perasaan setelah didoakan oleh mama Paw dulu.. Well, I think she does pray for me from heaven.. ahaha..

dan ketika Paw pagi tanya.. It's wrong. There's nothing that what I've afraid of, done. Intinya, kekhawatiran Paw SALAH. Praise the Lord...

And yes.. This blog today? It's all given to Lord... to praise Him.. kok ya bisa.. lagu ini kedengeran jelas.. 

*tapi pas Paw donlod lagunya.. kok ga enak ya yang nyanyi.. ==a enakan di mimpi Paw.. :p

Beauty ♫

Phew... Paw akhir-akhir ini bener-bener menggilaaa... atau menggenit.. ga tau, silahkan pilih yang mana.. hihihihi... yah intinya gitu... *tapi jadinya semakin yakin.. Paw salah masuk infor iniii... yah gitu...

Akhir-akhir ini, kalau ditanya, kesibukan Paw selaen kuliah, proposal TA, choir, blogging yang semakin jarang , rapat Camp, jalan-jalan, baca manga, dkk dll dsb.. Paw punya kesibukan baru... hihihihi... yaitu.. bersolek! huahahaha... bersolek disini bukan berarti pake make-up yang bakal bikin Paw jadi kaya Jeng Kelin gitu..

bukann.. tapi merawat diri supaya bersih dan cantik..

~ kling kling~
hihihihi... sekalian, Paw bilang di blog ini.. "Bakaaaa... Let's do this togetheerrr..~ I know you are sooooooo gancheong if about these things.. ohohoho..
nah nah nah... Kan, Paw jadi hobi cari-cari resep... ternyata, jadi cantik tuh ga perlu terlalu mahal lho! Antara lain, dengan mencuci muka yang benar, kita bisa mencegah komedo yang nakal-nakal!! Muka pun jadi bersih dan soooooo soft.. Sebagai contoh nih ya... Muka harus dicuci dengan air suam-suam kuku. Jangan air dingin ataupun panas. Kenapa? Karena kalau terlalu panas, kandungan minyak alami kita akan hilang, sementara kalau terlalu dingin, kotoran nya tidak luntur. gituu.. lalu, yang ke dua, pada saat mencuci muka, pijat2 sedikit wajah kita supaya sabun yang ada membersihkan secara lebih mendalam, dan jangan lupa setelah itu kita pakai air hangat dulu untuk membilas, baru terakhir pakai air dingin dipercikkan. Mnyeka muka pun tidak boleh di srooooooootttt, di seret-seretkan di wajah gitu.. tapi harus ditepuk-tepuk pelan.. hingga agak kering. Baru setelahnya pakai toner dan moisturizer... *Paw pakai Clinique.. bagus lhoo..~ ^^
yang laen2 nya bisa tanya ke Paw langsung deh. malah nulis.. ohohoho..

Fantastica Cosmetica ♥

Yeah.. Akhir-akhir ini Paw ngerasain enaknya jadi kurus... *walaupun ada temen yang bilang Paw menggendut lagi.. ohnooo...!! *Oh ya, karena ini tema nya cewe banget, maka ak pake emoticon khusus hari ini emoticon cewe... imut yaa...

Nah.. Sampe mana tadi ya?? Hahahaha.. intinya, Paw jadi jauh lebih cewe sekarang lhoo..~ *dari dulu juga cewe, tpi tomboy.. sampe dulu dikira tidak akan bisa menjadi wanita.. tapi sekarang bedaaa...!! Paw udah jadi cewee...~ Asli lhooo..~ hohoho.. akhirnya setelah berat badan turun.. bodi menjadi ga kaya karung beras.. baru menikmati indahnya pakaian wanita.. *selama ini merasa pake baju apa-apa jelek.. baru sekarang mau sadar fashion..

Nah.. sehubungan dengan itu juga.. Paw yang dulu ga pernah merhatiin muka.. muka dibiarin kaya gini.. jelek - cakep *cakep ah* dbiarin gitu aja ga dirawat... Akhirnya sadar itu dosa besar... gimana ngga? Muka kering hampir keriput gini mau dibiarin ga dirawat... Mau jadi nenek-nenek umur 25 taun??!! *keinget kata-kata temen yang menohok.. huks.. karena itulah Paw memutuskan untuk merawat lagi muka Paw.. huahuahuahua.. setelah ngerayu papa.. akhirnya dapet 3 produk Clinique.. meskipun cukup merogoh kocek.. *800ribu!! WTH... tpi ya sudahlah.. akhirnya.. pake... Kyaaa, hasilnya memuaskann!! Produk mahal emang beda... *katrok mode on* nah.. begitulah.. Paw sudah mulai merawat muka nih..

Kemarin, temen Paw ajak Paw jalan-jalan.. *ngga ngedate kok.. terus sama dia Paw ditunjukin buku judulnya "Fantastica Cosmetica"... Pas Paw liat.. Wah, bagus!! Tapi liat harganya.. 85000??!! Mahaall... *bbm baka di malaysia, tanya mau urunan ga??

bip..

bip...


baka mauuu...!! yeahh.. beli deh... dan ternyata.. ga rugi lho beli!!

Kaya gini ini bukunya... *saya terpaksa ambil dari google gambarnya karena kualitas kamera Paw jelek..
 
dan isi dalemnya kaya gini ini... bagus kan.. penuh berisi tips tips..

Ahhh,, Paw jadi makin cewe niiihh...~ diajari cara, mulai dari cuci muka yang bener *dan ternyata emang beda lhoo... muka paw jadi lebih bersih kalo cuci muka pake cara itu.. walaupun emang lebih lama... dan air abis lebih banyak, lebih ruwet.. ah ya sudahlah.. biaya untuk cantik..
cara keramas.. dan cara make up yang bener.. serta gimana supaya ga menor.. kyaaa kya kyaaa..~

Bagus iniii.. Paw sukaaa...
doakan Paw cepat bisa yaa.. hohohoho.. dan nantikan muka Paw pake make up alami.. lalala..~